Cool reasons for the tremors

How people can take two completely unrelated events and somehow manage to find a link between them. Take for example this letter that was published in the newspaper today:

Frankly speaking, I was expecting an earthquake in the UAE because it had to come, be it for five minutes or seven seconds, but it came.

Has anyone thought for a minute the reason for earth quakes coming every week or every month in any country? There is only one reason and that is because no one is raising their voice for the oppressed people in Iraq and Palestine.

Today none of us feel the pain for others as everybody is busy having fun in their life.

This small earthquake in Iran was surely a warning that we should wake up and become one nation. If we do not rise, then a big earthquake will surely come and destroy us all.

Think about it.

What I don't understand is why was Iran punished? She publicly condemns the atrocities by Israel and America.

Card chaos

I got a call from Citibank today. I had visited their website a few days back and applied for a new account. I never expected them to call because I remember closing my browser before the form was actually submitted. Maybe I wasn't quick enough. A nice chap called Gaurav call me and politely said if I had 5 minutes to answer some questions. This is normal for any bank so I agreed and answered the questions that followed.

I didn't open an account with Citibank. The package that Gaurav recommended required me to maintain a balance of AED35,000. Anything less than that and I would be charged a monthly fee. Also, I didn't get a free credit card.

I wonder why when banks call you they offer to give you credit cards at no extra cost but when you go to them, they say no bank will give credit cards without a fee.

Tricks for your body

Men's Health has an interesting article to cure some of the most common ailments. Some of the remedies suggested are so unrelated they actually seem far fetched. I should try these out for myself:

1. If my throat tickles, I should scratch my ear.
2. If I want to eavesdrop I should use my right ear because it is better at picking up conversations.
3. I should think about sex if I want to suppress the calls of nature.
4. Coughing can reduce the pain of an injection.
5. Sleeping on the left side reduces acidity.
6. Rubbing ice on the back of my hand between my thumb and my index finger will cure toothache.
7. If any body part falls asleep, I should rock my head from side to side.

Empty vessels make most noise

This article in EmiratesToday got my attention. UAE is ready to claim the top position in the ICT Index this year. Last year Bahrain topped the charts.

In the 2004 ICT User Index, Bahrain secured the number one slot. "With competition between Batelco and MTC Vodaphone, customers increased and Bahrain stole the show," Malapitan said, but she added that the entry of the new telecom operator in the UAE may tilt the scales in its favour for 2005.

Reality check: It is midway through November of the year 2005. There are no signs of a new telecom operator. Or am I living in the stone ages?

Give me all your eggs and the basket

How things turn out to be the exact opposite of what you expect!

I had a "business" meeting today. The reason I put the word business in quotes is because it really was a business meeting. It would come as a shock for those who know me well. You see, I am the IT guy. I talk and breathe all things to do with computers.

But that is not the topic of this entry. The topic of this entry is what the title says. Give me all your eggs and the basket. That is exactly what the lady (she was da bomb) I met today wanted from me. 30 minutes of discussion revolving around that one sentence. It is funny how people expect us to provide everything to them and expect nothing in return. And they would talk so as-a-matter-of-fact-ly that it implies they are doing us a favor. Oh well. I guess this is how businesses work in Dubai.

Jaywalking 101

If you are living in the UAE, there are 5 basic rules you should follow when traveling on foot (read jaywalking):

1. Pavements are there to beautify the city. Avoid walking on them whenever possible. You do not want to spoil them.
2. The road belongs to either you or your father. You can therefore use it any time, any how and any way you want it. Even if that means walking in the middle of the road that is technically meant for cars.
3. Standing and staring at a red pedestrian signal is a waste of time. You have better things to do; such as walking.
4. Zebra crossings are meant just for that: crossing the road. Then why on Earth should you look both sides to see if it is safe to cross?
5. If there is a group of people crossing the road, wait for that group to reach the other end and for the cars patiently waiting to being to move. Then you can start to cross. It is a zebra crossing after all. It was meant for you to cross and the cars to stop - maybe for eternity.

If you follow these simple rules, you will have mastered the art of jaywalking. Trust me.

This ends the quest for the world's biggest loser

Yes ladies and gentlemen. I have finally found the world's biggest loser!

Watch the video or download it on your computer.

This gentleman is on Who Wants to be a Millionaire and uses all his lifelines to answer a very simple question and still gets it wrong!

Is it enough to drive safely?

UPDATE: A well-informed friend has told me that petrol prices are going to increase by up to AED9!

The increase in the cost of petrol in UAE and recent rumors that petrol prices are likely to hit close to AED8 made me review my overall driving habit. Up to now, driving meant using a car to go from one place to the other in the shortest possible time. While on the road, my goal (apart from reaching my destination) was to drive safely and not get involved in an accident. My goals are shared with almost all drivers in the UAE.

What we fail to ask ourselves is: is our only goal to reach our destination without getting involved in an accident? What price are we paying for it? Do we even know how to drive so that we are not only reaching our destinations and driving safely but getting the most mileage out of our fuel?

I decided to put my money where my mouth is and experimented safe and fuel-efficient driving habits in the month of October and November. Results: I am getting 10% more mileage. Here are some tips that I would like to share:

1. Avoid aggressive driving. "Jack-rabbit" starts and hard braking increases fuel consumption.
2. Drive on a steady speed as far as possible. Speed limits are there for a reason. If everyone drives within the speed limit, this is already taken care of because everyone would drive at a steady speed.
3. Avoid idling the car. It is better to turn it off if you are waiting for someone.
4. Using high-quality and expensive fuel makes no difference to the internals of your car. Don't fall for the marketing gimmicks.
5. Plan your trip. Avoid commuting when you anticipate lots of traffic.
6. You get the most mileage out of your fuel if you drive at a steady speed of 90km/hour.
7. Select the right gear. When accelerating, change the gear as early as possible.

All the above tips with the exception of the last one apply to both manual and automatic transmission cars. For automatic cars there is no gear that you can change. However, I noticed that slightly easing up on the accelerator as the car gathers speed changes the gear.

So here were some of the things that I learnt. I can confidently say that over the two month of experimenting I have actually enjoyed driving. I drive on the far right lane and never exceed 90km/hour. Even on Sh. Zayed Road. To tell you honestly, it is fun to watch the cars zoom past you! Try it :o)

Drink Decaf and Die

News for Tom, Dick and Harry who drink decaffeinated coffee:

Decaffeinated - not caffeinated - coffee may cause an increase in harmful LDL cholesterol by increasing a specific type of blood fat linked to the metabolic syndrome, hints a new study presented at the American Heart Association's
Scientific Sessions 2005.

Source: Drinking decaffeinated coffee may be harmful to heart health

My 15 minutes of fame!

One of the factors that draws visitors to MASH UP is the fact that we have competitions on the site. Earlier this year I had written a competitions hack to integrate that module into vBulletin so that our visitors wouldn't have to register twice on our site. I never considered publishing my code anywhere until someone asked for it on vBulletin.org. I published the code for my competitions hack on that site early this month and little did I know that it would be quite popular.

I always thought a competitions extension was not something that many would want. How wrong! The extension has been installed by 61 people and has been translated into French and German already. My 15 minutes of fame!

Stupid, stupid clients

In my (short) years working as a freelance designer, then as a sales person in a hardware shop and now full-time for MASH UP, I have met my fair share of clients and come across some funny stuff clients say. I thought I should share them with my readers. Here goes...

Client: "There is an error on the leaflet that you designed for me."
Me: "I am sorry but you signed a proof before it went to print."
Client: "Yes, but it doesn't mean I read it."
Me: ???

Client: "Can you give me your fax number?"
Me: "You mean my email address?"
Client: "No, your fax number. I need to fax you the advertisements that should go on our website."

Client: "Is that you final price?"
Me: "Yes, this is the final price after the discount."
Client: "And what if I buy two pieces."

Client: "How big can a web page be?"
Me: "As big as you want it to be. But you do not... [10 minutes of explaining why you shouldn't have very big pages]"
Me: "So, what size would you like it?"
Client: "A4"

Client: "I would like you to design a calendar application for us... [detailed explanation of their requirements]"
Me: "Great! Is there any extra or optional information you would like to store about your events?"
Client: "Yes of course. The date, title and is_active field."

I read about a technical support incident some times ago that makes clients like the above look very sensible. A client calls technical support and reports that his printer can print all colors but not yellow. The technical support guy spends nearly 30 minutes trying to figure out what the problem is. He asks the client to remove the drivers and cartridges and install them again. They put new in cartridges and even try connecting the printer to another PC but nothing seems to make the printer print in yellow color. Finally, the technical support guy asks the client to bring the printer to the service centrer along with some samples of the printing so that they can see what the problem is. Upon looking at the samples of the printing it is learnt that the printer cannot print in yellow ink because the client used yellow paper for printing.

The Beauty and the Beast

What is the world coming up to? Just when harvesting corn or rice wasn't enought, we may soon have acres of "fertile land" to cultivate livers, kidneys, and the likes. For those who read the linked page properly, you noticed that date of the article was in the future. However, stuff like this could very well be possible.

With all the stem cell research and the advances in technology and medical science, one day we may have our organs grown in our own gardens. Having heart problems? No worries. Replace your old heart with a new one. Or better yet, take a page of Nokia's marketing book. Trade your old heart for a new one and pay the diference only.

Another interesting though while we are at it. All the movies we see about mutants may soon be reality. You know, something is bound to go wrong somewhere. You just can't play God and get away with it.

You are fired!

What an interesting day. It is amazing how people react when they hear those three words: you are fired. What amazes me more are the people who have to say those three words. I have never said them myself so I don't know if it would be okay to compare them with the other three very difficult words to say: I love you.

Maybe I am going a bit on the extreme with my comparisons. It is actually very easy to say, "You're fired! Take you stuff and don't show me your face again!" You see, we tend to think of all the bad the employee does. If we thought of the good, we wouldn’t be firing them :)

Oh, and in case you are getting worried, I still have my job.

Are you an Entrepreneur? Take a Quiz

I took the Am I an Entrepreueur? quiz I came across in a Startup Fever post. The quiz has about 75 questions but I managed to complete it fairly quickly.

My results have got some pretty motivating things in it. Mental note: read it everyday to get a boost :)

You have a powerful drive to achieve. This may express itself in a desire for personal wealth. Money, however, may be less important to you for its own sake than as a means of "keeping score". Although you stretch yourself to the limit, you pursue goals that are within your reach, rather than chasing after impossible dreams.

Worst thing about being ill

The worst thing about getting a cold is my nose being blocked. It is no laughing matter. I then have to breathe through my mouth which in return means I get breathless when I eat, drink, speak or do virtually anything that requires the use of my mouth.

How annoying. Add to that the lazy feeling, boredom, coughing, etc.

What makes matter even worse is the medicine. They manage to totally block my nose. If I don’t take medicine, I have to go to the washroom every 10 minutes to blow my nose (my hanky is wet after the first 5 minutes).

How do you guys cope with a cold, I wonder...